The Love Doctor

“Tell him about the languages! our host said.

John looked at him and replied, “I’m not sure what you mean.”

Shaking his head, “The languages! The languages! What you told me before about your wife!”

It seems that during our last time with our new friend (the host), John made polite conversation and talked about our 31 years of marriage. Intrigued, our host asked how John could be married so long to one woman and not even take a second wife! John then went on to tell him about the five love languages. It seemed to make an impression.

“Oh, that!” John smiled and gave me a nod.

The third man had waited patiently during the exchange. He now looked at John waiting.

“My wife and I have been married for 31 years,” John says.

“31!” Our host interjects, “…and he has two daughters…grown…and he’s 52!”

Somehow he seemed to think that this was pertinent information. He then added, “My wife is gone! She doesn’t live here.”

We all nod sympathetically.

John continues, “My wife and I have been married 31 years. We have had to learn how to speak to one another so we understand each other. Sort of like Arabic and English, yes?”

The listener smiled, “Yes! Yes! We must speak so they understand.”

John then goes into a description of the five love languages by Gary Chapman. He describes quality time, acts of service, physical touch and receiving gifts, but gets stuck on the fifth one.

I add, “Words of affirmation.”

Our host and the other man are listening intently.

John adds, “We may speak one language, but our wife may want another. To help her feel loved, we need to learn to speak her language.”

Our host exclaims, “This is good!”

We were interrupted by a young man carrying a tray of glasses with fresh juice. We each take one and sip. I remark how delicious the tabaldi juice is. They seem impressed that I know the name of this local favorite.

John uses this moment to take a break from his impromptu workshop.

More men arrive and are seated. I am the lone rose.

After introductions, our host points at John and says, “Tell them about the languages!”

I laughed. This had apparently made a deep impression on our new friend.

Now they are all looking at John or as I will call him from here on out, “The Love Doctor.”

He, again, describes the five love languages and how it can help your marriage to know your wife’s “language.”

The men seem to soak it in. Periodically, they would break into discussion, insert a laugh or some comment in Arabic I couldn’t understand.

Then one looks at me and asks, “Is it true?”

All eyes now turned to me.

“Is what true?” I asked sincerely.

“Is he a good man?”

I knew what they were asking. So many times in this culture, the men will talk big talk, but behind closed doors it is a very different story. They had heard his words and now wanted to know the truth. I took John’s hand and said, “Yes. It’s true. He is a wonderful husband and if I had the opportunity, I would choose him again.”

Our host said, “You mean that?”

I said, “Yes. I would marry him again. He is a good, good man. God has blessed us.”

They leaned back and all said, “Mash’Allah! Mash’Allah!” (an Arabic phrase used to show appreciation for a person or happening.)

With that, the subject changes and the “Doctor” concludes his session.

Later back at our flat, I pointed at John and said, “Tell them about the languages!” and laughed. He laughed, too, and said, “You never know what the Lord will use to speak to people.”

It’s true. We live life alongside our desert friends. Our relationship lived in front of others had opened a door. I was reminded that my actions, attitudes and words reflect a set of values. I pray that they mirror the characteristics of one who follows Jesus.

As for The Love Doctor’s next workshop? Stay tuned.