I’m not a fan of “in-between,” but frankly, who is? We’ve been in-between for a while now. Circumstances in our life interrupted our momentum and left us stuttering and sputtering trying to gain traction again.
Yesterday, I wandered into a Dollar Tree store in Mountain Home, ID looking at Fall decorations. As I perused these wonders, I almost talked myself out of them.
“You’re in a temporary home.”
“You’re only here for a few weeks.”
“Will there be room in your suitcase when you leave?” (That last one is ALWAYS the real question.)
I stood in the store and could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I. DON’T. WANT. TO. KEEP. LIVING. LIKE. THIS. Always measuring. Constantly considering.
“It’s a DOLLAR TREE for crying out loud, Pam! Buy the decorations! Buy ALL the decorations, if you want! What? You’ll be out $10?!?!” I shouted to myself.
A lady with swirled hair and bedazzled jacket pushed past me with her cart. I could feel her eyes boring into the back of my head.
“Back off, lady! I’m doing serious life work here!” I thought. But instead I said, “Oh, sorry. Excuse me. Am I in the way?” as a good Christian ought.
Do I get the garland with acorns or squashes? Squash? Squashi? It’s the Dollar Tree. You don’t get both on one rope here. I put all of it in the cart.
I gathered a couple festive signs and a nice little block that said, “Thankful.” I chuckled and thought, “Too bad they don’t have what I’m really thinking on a plaque.” Something to the effect that says:
HERE’S A NICE LITTLE DECORATION THAT DOESN’T COME CLOSE TO CATCHING ALL THE EMOTIONS I’M FEELING IN THIS SEASON, BUT I’LL SETTLE FOR THE SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE PHRASE OF “THANKFUL.”
Maybe I’ll tweet Dollar Tree and offer suggested sayings for next year.
I came “home” to our AirBNB and immediately showed John my purchases. He smiled and watched me go to work removing tags and placing these new-found treasures around the house.
As I lit the Autumn-scented candle, a wave of contentment swept over me.
For this day…
For this moment…
I am content.
I still don’t have any definitive answers. We are waiting on Jesus.
I sit down and look at the “thankful” block now festooned with squash and acorns.
I am thankful. Thankful that in the in-between, we can trust. Thankful that there is no “middle ground” for Jesus. He is in all. He sees all. He is all. So on these days that I’m pleading for a map, I’ll put my hand in His and trust the Guide.
“Be strong and brave. Do not be afraid. Do not lose hope. I am the Lord your God. I will be with you everywhere you go.” Joshua 1:9.